I recently read an article from SUCCESS magazine titled "Tough Love," which talked about Jillian Michaels' (yes, the brutal and tough co-star trainer on NBC's The Biggest Loser) views on fitness and personal development. She made a statement which summed up her philosophy:
"I don't allow people to be victims, because if they're victims, they're not in control of their own destiny."
This sentence got me thinking quite a bit. There may be times where we (including myself) face situations in which we feel that we are victims of life. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, that we did not cause, or for whatever other reasons, and we've become the victims. Maybe it is rightfully so that we feel that way. We didn't do anything wrong, and misfortune has decided to tag us.
But if we let ourselves become victims, life will treat us like victims. This was a realization that Jillian had when she was training with her instructor at the age of 13:
"And so I realized that if I behave like a victim, life was going to treat me like a victim..."
And it's true. When we have the mentality that we are the victims, it impacts other parts of our lives. This self-pity virus starts to infect our emotions, mental strength, physical abilities, career advancements, etc. It's almost a chain reaction with a potential to deal significant damage to our lives. We may ask "Why me?" and dwell on the past, moping and complaining about life's unfairness. As a result, we may lose the energy to exercise or to excel in our careers. And in the end, we have become victims of life.
The only way to resolve this is to do something about it. Fight back. Be tough. Turn the misfortune to an opportunity and learn something from it. Press forward. Only when we do something about it do we have the chance to change our lives, to have control of our lives and destinies. And if we don't, life will not change for us, and we remain as victims.
Relating this to the special day, did the 13 colonies behave like victims when under the reign of England? Not when they decided to fight for their freedom. Going to war wasn't an easy fix for them - the American Revolutionary War lasted 8 years (1775 - 1783). But in the end, they won and gained independence. Now we can live in this land of the free and the home of the brave.
As I look back on my life, there were times when I became a victim of life, sitting in a dark corner, and wondering what I could have done in those situations and why I did what I did. I was going through life emotionless, lacking enthusiasm, feeling numb. No energy to do anything, even activities which I love to participate in. All to gain what? Nothing. I had to get out of this "slump." I had to fight my way back to normalcy. Of course, I couldn't pretend that the events never happened, but instead of dwelling on them and feeling sorry for myself, I had to go on with life. I have to note down the lessons learned and apply them to my life. And once it's done and done, I have become stronger than I was before.
I'm glad I read this article, because it gave me a different perspective on a person's mentality (thank you, Jillian Michaels!). Yes, life can be tough and unfair. Yes, there are things out of our control that happen to us. And unfortunately, we cannot turn back time and alter the course of time (perhaps maybe in the future). It's all part of life. But we can change the future, and it begins with this "I am not a victim of life" mentality.
I will end with two quotes, which I found encouraging:
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
- Maria Robinson
"... But one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead."
- Phillipians 4:13
And here's to her motto: "Inspired by Jillian, empowered by YOU!"
so positive and encouraging ^__^
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